When Sorry Is Enough

Oh, it was so, so wonderful to hear from so many yesterday checking in on Nelle.  The support is incredible and felt and very appreciated.  Unfortunately, we had to share disappointing news that she actually didn't get to have her eye surgery as planned.  

It's a long, up and down story, but the short of it is the surgery center failed to get her surgery approved through insurance on time.  Her surgery is 100% covered once it is approved, which is amazing in the insurance world, but goodness it was sooo frustrating to wait with a hungry baby in a hospital gown who hadn't eaten since the night before for an hour and a half after being checked in, seen by the nurse and the anesthesiologist,
to be told they actually couldn't move forward. 

It's difficult to feel like this big experience in your life is so routine for others, like it's not important to them.  Like they didn't consider the arrangements and planning that had to be made for our family, work to be taken off, schedules to be adjusted, bags packed, miles driven.  We have to mentally prep again for someone to operate on our daughter's eyes.  It is important, and I know they get that and of course there were apologies,
but I didn't want to hear them.  I didn't want sorry to be enough.  I wanted it to be fixed.  

And then, as I drove to meet my parents half way between Wichita and Manhattan to pick Henry up from his first adventure away cut short,
stuck between stewing and trying to accept it, I realized sorry was enough.  It had to be because there was nothing else that could be done. 

I guess admitting that I have a hard time letting things go is step one,
and not being the tense mama bear who wouldn't look at the doctor yesterday as he was delivering the news is step two?   
Yikes, who was that girl?

The reunion between Henry and Nelle was just the cutest, him running to us with the biggest grin and squealing,
Nelle spotting him and her entire face lighting up.   

Perspective.

 She is learning.

She is growing. 

She is healthy.

 She is loved.

She is ours.

Happy Friday to you and you and you.