The Birth of June Margaret

20.9.15 Ali Moore 2 Comments

My June Bug,

You came into this world like a dream.  It was easy and peaceful and calm and serene.  Nothing like Henry's birth.  And nothing like Nelle's.  You'll have your own way little one.  Your path is meant only for you, and you're already on your way.  As much as I want to hold you and keep you next to me, to watch your breath rise and fall, to know you are safe like we did on the day you were born, you're on your way.
Your story has begun. 

I woke up the morning of your birth day around 6:30 with another series of Braxton Hicks contractions.  I had been having them mildly for weeks and weeks and weeks, but the noticeable ones, the ones that made me wonder if this could be the beginning of meeting you, had been starting up and then fading away for about a week.  I had my last scheduled doctor's appointment that morning anyway so I thought even if they weren't in the first stages of labor, at least I'd hopefully get an idea of my progression from the week prior and a better idea of when you might arrive.  I slipped into the shower just as Henry and Nelle started pitter pattering into our room, and I told Andrew
we might just have a baby today. 

He helped Henry and Nelle with milk and juice and was putting his keys in his pocket, picking up his phone, getting ready to head into work when I asked him to call my parents.  There was a two hour drive between us, and I really wanted them to be able to make it before we had to head into the hospital.  And the contractions were definitely contractions and kept on coming.  

He came and kissed me goodbye over the shower door, and I told him I'd keep him posted throughout the morning on how I felt.  Ten minutes later, Henry couldn't get his shoes on and didn't want my help, but needed it so he could go outside and play, I had continued to have several contractions already, and I called Andrew after breathing through a mild contraction.  Please come home, I'm in labor and can't do this alone.  Which was really a you need to come home.  Now.

And about 10 minutes after that, he swooped Henry and Nelle in their last moments of just two to play and left me to finish getting ready to head to the doctor.  

I didn't want to drive myself so we all went together.  It had been about three hours and the intensity of my contractions had increased by a small amount, but the duration and frequency really hadn't.  It was somewhat comforting knowing at this point Nelle had already been born.  I hadn't acknowledged to myself how much anxiety I had leading up to your birth about what might happen if things were
even faster the third time around.  

I had progressed from a 2 to a 4 from the week prior, and my breath caught a little bit when Dr. Hild said yes, today was baby day.  I wanted to go home and labor for a bit until my parents arrived, and she said she'd call the birth care center to let them know we'd be coming in a couple of hours.  

I texted my friend down the street to see if she would walk with me for a bit.  I wanted to keep labor progressing, and I needed the distraction.  We walked for about an hour, all the while my body working to meet you.  Slowly, but steadily, until the end when I just couldn't quite walk or talk through my contractions anymore,
at least not with a lot of concentrated effort.  

My mom and Nelle met us on the street in front of our house.  It was a gorgeous August morning.  The sun shone so brightly, and it was warm, but not stifling. 
The light filtered through the trees in the most gorgeous way, and it was all very surreal.

I ate about half of an early lunch, but I didn't have much of an appetite, plus I kept having to get up to manage contractions.  I caught Andrew's eye after one and told him it was time to go so we snuck out the garage door and drove to the hospital.  That same drive we've done in the middle of the night twice before we now got to do in the middle of the day, meeting cars going about on their normal days knowing our day was nothing ordinary, but extraordinary.  We were about to be blessed with witnessing our third miracle arrive; we were going to be gifted another precious gift, one moment protected and ours, and the next earthside, vulnerable, and shared with the world.

We arrived at the birthcare center at 11:30am, and had to wait what seemed like through maybe three or four contractions before we were walked back to the room you would arrive in.  Contractions were maybe two to three minutes apart at this point, and even though they weren't long and intense like they had been when I was in labor with Nelle, one crashing directly into the other, they were still doing their job.
The resident checked me, and I had moved to a five.


We waited maybe twenty minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive, and Andrew helped me with each contraction during the wait, applying counter-pressure to my back as I swayed back and forth through each, and then looking over our name list on my phone in between.  We had decided on our boy name months ago, but hadn't on a girl name.  I wasn't worried; I was sure you were a boy from early on in my pregnancy.  I hadn't had such strong gender feelings with Henry and Nelle and was positive this was the time I was going to be right and your dad would be wrong.

The epidural started working moments later, Dr. Hild came in to break my water around thirty minutes after that, and we waited. There was such a peace in the room,
even with so much anticipation. 

Maybe an hour and a half went by, and Dr. Hild came back to see how I had progressed.  I was a 10, and you were already in position to be born.  Our nurse was expected back from lunch in about 15 minutes so we waited.  I started feeling the most intense contractions again, and I was given extra anesthesia directly into my IV moments before it was time to push.

The lights in the room changed, the energy instantly changed, and after I pushed through only two contractions later, we watched you arrive into our world at 3:14pm.  You were so purple in that moment, but your cries and breath were strong, and I couldn't take my eyes off of your sweet face.  I reached for you, and Andrew announced, "it's a girl!" and I was so overcome with joy.  And shock!  Another girl!

You felt so perfect next to me, you were meant to be there along,
and our hearts instantly grew to love you.  So much.

June, we will love and protect you as fiercely and unconditionally
as we did in that moment forever and ever.

Little one, what will you do in your one wild and precious life?  We can't wait to watch you write your story and it's our greatest joy, our greatest achievement,
our proudest moment to be a part of it.

Always yours,

Mama
 
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2 comments:

  1. Such a GORGEOUS post Ali. You are the best momma ever and are so wonderful with words. Love you all <3

    ReplyDelete