eighteen weeks

I went outside yesterday with my tripod and camera and intended to take a new bump picture just like the last one.  Same dress, same spot.

And they all looked terrible.

I think I'm over same dress, same spot, bigger bump pictures this go'round.  

Not that I don't want pictures with you as you grow, baby bug.   

I just feel like doing something more...personal, thoughtful...real.

Plus, you should see me making sure no one is driving down the road or peeping at me through their windows, making a fool of myself posing in front of my garage door 10 times over because it's a lot harder than one would think, trying to look cute, smiley, yet nonchalant, but still hey! 

here's my belly, and I love it!

 

So, here I am at 18.5 weeks and next week I get to see you for the third time on that little black and white screen and wonder who you are, and willing you to know how much you are loved and how excited we are to meet you.  Andrew will get to see you for the first time too, and I think we're bringing Henry and Nelle.  I'm sure their little voices will help make you dance around on the screen for us.  They already do.  I almost didn't trust myself when I felt you nearly three weeks ago, but I've been pregnant since 2011 (yes, every year since 2011) so I knew.  Sitting on the couch, just like the other two, and those first little flutters just took my breath away, just like the other two.   

I thought for sure this would be the longest pregnancy ever since we found out so, so early that we were expecting you, but it has been the fastest.  Probably something to do with the aforementioned tag-alongs we call your siblings?

Maybe also because I was so debilitated by exhaustion for the first 16 weeks, and I slept away as much of it as I could manage.  Maybe not the fastest for Andrew because I've been nesting like I'm having this baby tomorrow since the very beginning, and he's possibly a bit over the rearranging and sorting and organizing and throwing away.  And we haven't even begun to plan your room, and H&N's shared toddler room.

Early August seems like a lifetime away, with days and days at the pool in between, but I know it will be here much faster than I anticipate.  And this time, I am honestly coming to be so much more at peace anticipating you.  This time, I know what to expect, what being outnumbered during the day feels like, and all I can think about still is what it feels like to hold a newborn and your smell and velvety head.

All in good time.