A week ago we took the littles to my sono and 20 week appointment to see the first glimpse of our third baby together as a family.  There is nothing like seeing that little profile on the screen.  It doesn't matter that we've done the same with Henry, and then Nelle and now bug #3.  It always just lights up my entire face and makes my heart flutter a little bit looking at the newest member of our family, growing and kicking in me.  

Henry was interested a bit, and he has really done well with the concept of the baby growing inside mommy's tummy, especially since then, able to pick out the baby's head from our reel of photos we were sent home with, spontaneously talking about the baby in mommy's tummy.  Something about being at the doctor's office for an hour and a half though really gave my kids a fierce case of ants in their pants because they were alllll over the place - in the waiting room, in the sono room, in the waiting room again and then in my appointment room.  I'm not sure Andrew's been that excited to say see you later in the parking lot afterwards and head to work in a while.  Ha.

I just feel so certain this little one is a boy.  My pregnancy has been so much more similar to Henry's.  Not feeling nauesous but only a handful of times in the very beginning, wanting downhome comfort food and salt.  Give me all the chips.  Also, give me all the lemon.  Citrus is my current jam.  I've had a couple of ocular migraines, just like I did with Henry.  Love our boy name.  Have no girl name.  And I'm just feeling boy.

Featured on I Carry Your Heart this week.

Andrew and I were totally on the same page, but now he's switched camps and decided after looking at sweet baby 3's profile that it's a girl.  Because it looks like Nelle.  Which is funny because I remember thinking after seeing Nelle's little 20-week profile that she looked like Henry so she must be a he.  And she wasn't.

Ahhh, the anticipation is one of my favorite parts.  

The day after my sono I spent some time with the kids talking about the baby in mommy's tummy, and I just can't help but tear up hearing their little voices in the segment below.  It's my first attempt at video with my camera so pardon the quality but having this captured for years to come makes me so happy.  Shaky, out-of-focus home videos are better than no home videos.  (And songs about daughters when you swear you are carrying a son are also okay and not my subconscious talking, Andrew.  I just love that song and the intro is perfection.

Little one, whoever you may be, you are loved.

We had Nelle's 15 month wellness check up a couple of weeks ago,
and I was fully embarrassed when her pediatrician asked what words she says,
and I completely went blank.

She repeats everything we say, and actually knows and says quite a few words (mama, dada, puh-puh for puppy, ball, points at Ham's big boy fire truck potty and says "pah-pah" for potty, points at the big toilet and says "bi-bo" for big boy...clearly we have been spending a lot of time in the bathroom after potty training recently.  "Nah-nah" is also a favorite...for no no and LuLu for her bunny and "whaaammmy" for Lamby - Wubanub paci turned lovie when we cold turkey got rid of the paci by cutting it off, baby, hiiiiii and byyyye-byyyyye.)  But of course, on the spot I couldn't think of anything.  So I just mumbled something about her little parrot behavior saying she mimics whatever we do, and we moved on to her exam. 

Second child problems.

Preggo mommy problems.

Not having a system in place for her soon-to-come baby book problems.

Since I knew I didn't want to blog weekly updates with Nelle during her first year, I just kept milestone notes on my phone and have yet to transfer them to anything concrete.  If someone has a baby book/system they love, I'm all ears.  I plan to pull photos from her first year and create her baby book to be printed along with organizing our broom closet, clean out Andrew's closet, and reorganize our basement storage room. 

When I have time.

So until then, my phone and this blog will have to suffice when it comes to preserving these fleeting baby days.  

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It's funny how my perspective has changed with the seasons...yet again.

All of a sudden the sunshine and fresh air has me feeling like these are the days, 

and I don't want to forget them.

Or what they're saying.

Sometimes when I ask Henry to try and pull up his big boy undies on his own, put his shoes on, get something out of his room, etc., he'll say, "no, I want youuuuuu!" meaning "I want you to do it."  Which sometimes drives me crazy, and other times I just close my eyes and hear him saying,
"I want you, Mommy" and all is right.

Henry will randomly ask throughout our week, "you have a baby in your tummy?", and I'll say "yes! and it will get bigger and bigger and then it will come out later this summer after springtime and after we swim a lot at the pool."  To which he says, "and I will say hiiii baby! how are yewww?"

He also sometimes tells me there's a baby in his tummy, and he's feeding it breakfast.

I've ordered a ton of clothes online lately.  Mostly for the kids to get ready for our beach trip, but also a few for Andrew and I.  I need a nicer maternity dress for a few upcoming events and was trying two on last week.  Neither even came close to fitting, and I said "well dang it! I guess I'm going to have to find something else" to no one in particular except Henry heard me and said, "No, you don't say dang it, you just say ohhh mannnn!"  Because I caught him saying dang it when the tractor wasn't in the parking lot at the mall anymore to scoop snow and couldn't figure out where he got it from.

Last weekend was like hands up, hallelujah...spring is here!

We did a few chores around our house that have been incredibly neglected all winter. 
Raking bags upon bags of leaves that fell starting in October and just kept a'comin' through the last several months. 
Washing our cars to get rid of all the winter gunk. 

And the kids just played.  And played.  And played.

We didn't go in until the sun set.  And everyone was happy.

And I realized it wasn't just me that had missed this, but really we all had.

Hoping for more of this tomorrow and Sunday.

What a sight.  Henry walked out the door like this, coming to greet us after he woke up from his nap in his undies.  He didn't bother with pants. 
Nor did he bother with wiping the residual donut evidence he left on his chin.  

And Nelle in her dots on dots, courtesy of Andrew.

That little pot belly might be the cutest.

I celebrated my 30th birthday on Tuesday with this little family of mine.  

Just a little impromptu dinner out where we sat down with a round of waters on a patio, looked through the menu and then decided we didn't want to eat there so mumbled some lame excuse to the wait staff and went to an old standby where the Nelle had a meltdown because she wanted "mo meh" (more milk) than her little cup held.  Thank goodness for a fully stocked bar ready to make White Russians...or fill a sippy cup.  

So this is 30, people.

At least it's mine.

I went outside yesterday with my tripod and camera and intended to take a new bump picture just like the last one.  Same dress, same spot.

And they all looked terrible.

I think I'm over same dress, same spot, bigger bump pictures this go'round.  

Not that I don't want pictures with you as you grow, baby bug.   

I just feel like doing something more...personal, thoughtful...real.

Plus, you should see me making sure no one is driving down the road or peeping at me through their windows, making a fool of myself posing in front of my garage door 10 times over because it's a lot harder than one would think, trying to look cute, smiley, yet nonchalant, but still hey! 

here's my belly, and I love it!

 

So, here I am at 18.5 weeks and next week I get to see you for the third time on that little black and white screen and wonder who you are, and willing you to know how much you are loved and how excited we are to meet you.  Andrew will get to see you for the first time too, and I think we're bringing Henry and Nelle.  I'm sure their little voices will help make you dance around on the screen for us.  They already do.  I almost didn't trust myself when I felt you nearly three weeks ago, but I've been pregnant since 2011 (yes, every year since 2011) so I knew.  Sitting on the couch, just like the other two, and those first little flutters just took my breath away, just like the other two.   

I thought for sure this would be the longest pregnancy ever since we found out so, so early that we were expecting you, but it has been the fastest.  Probably something to do with the aforementioned tag-alongs we call your siblings?

Maybe also because I was so debilitated by exhaustion for the first 16 weeks, and I slept away as much of it as I could manage.  Maybe not the fastest for Andrew because I've been nesting like I'm having this baby tomorrow since the very beginning, and he's possibly a bit over the rearranging and sorting and organizing and throwing away.  And we haven't even begun to plan your room, and H&N's shared toddler room.

Early August seems like a lifetime away, with days and days at the pool in between, but I know it will be here much faster than I anticipate.  And this time, I am honestly coming to be so much more at peace anticipating you.  This time, I know what to expect, what being outnumbered during the day feels like, and all I can think about still is what it feels like to hold a newborn and your smell and velvety head.

All in good time.