you best have the wine, fool

23.9.14 Ali Moore 0 Comments

Yesterday I texted Andrew the following at 1:01pm (exactly one minute after I put the kiddos down for a nap, no coincidence):

--don't walk in the door tonight without wine--
I mean, SAHMs can I get a group head nod, Amen!, and high-five?
Andrew (and his coworkers) thought it was hilarious.  And I kind of did too, even at the time, when I wasn't joking at all, 
but decided to deal with my discouragement and exhaustion with humor because that's how we do things 'round here.  
a) Toddlers are not for the faint of heart.  
b) Toddlers are slightly possessed.
c) Toddlers are hilarious and fun and the zest of life.
d) Toddlers are not toddlers forever.
(a, b, c, or d all of the above?)

My thoughts on toddlerhood vary by the week/day/hour/minute depending on how much energy I have, how much energy Henry has, how many times he's pushed Nelle over, how many times he's taken her toys, how many times he's hit her on the head with a wooden spoon, how many timeouts I've already given, how many times he's put an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet to let it saturate with toilet water alllll morning long, how many times he's helped me put Nelle to bed and said "nigh nigh baby sisser, I wuv you," how many times he's needed me to pick him up, how many times he's laid his little head on my chest, how many times he's made me smile and laugh and made me think "don't get big. stay little forever".
When we were at Nelle's nine month check-up a couple of weeks ago, our pediatrician finished her exam and then asked the routine, "any questions?"

Ha!  Not on Nelle, but can we chat about Henry?

Or really, can we just chat about me? 
How do people survive with toddlers?  Actually, how do people survive with toddlers like Henry?
I guess that's what toddler support group is for.  
(Otherwise known as playgroup moms getting together over a glass of wine.  That is, I think we're still a part of playgroup, if they'll have me with my toddler ripping grass from lawns, throwing it at others, pushing tots left and right, and stealing toys from babies.)