There Is Good

Self.

This is your reminder for tomorrow.  

And the next day, and the next hard day after that, and one two weeks from now, three months from now, and so on...

Calm down.  

Do not let yourself go down the rabbit hole of being frustrated to defeated to giving up.

 

Take a deep breath.  Take two more.  Close your eyes and do it again.  

It's okay to go to the bathroom and lock the door for two minutes and breathe on your own.  

It might be necessary sometimes.  

Light a candle.  

 

Send him outside for 10 minutes to play.

Give her a baby doll and watch her hug and kiss it, carefully cover it with a blanket, and then do it all over again.  

 

This is their day too.

 

They're frustrated too.

 

Load them into the stroller.  Put a leash on the dog.  

Everyone needs fresh air.

 

Turn your day around.

 

There is good there.

 

There is good beyond the 15 timeouts before 9:30am, the handfuls on top of handfuls on top of handfuls of dirt thrown all over the living room covering the couch, chairs, coffee table, and side tables.  Beyond the whining and crying.  (And it's not all theirs.)  Beyond all of the questions...why? why? why?  Beyond running away from me at the doctor's office twice.  Beyond the 4:45am wake up call.  Beyond sitting on the sister's head.  Beyond the flailing.  Beyond the refusal to listen.  Beyond feeling like I'm talking to a brick wall.  Beyond the constant need to count to three.  Beyond the relentlessness towards the little one.  Beyond the not sharing, and being too rough, and being too needy, and being on top of me all the time, and at my feet all the time, and throwing food on the floor and not eating food that was requested, and just beyond everything that makes me feel too stretched and too tired and too worn down and just done.

 

Keep looking.

There is good.

 

In the snuggles.  And the learning new letters.  And new words.  And the kisses shared between brother and sister.  And the books read.  And the hand holding.  And the giggles.  And the curls.  And the innocent blue eyes.  And the smiles.  And the sweet moments between siblings.  

And the inquisitiveness.  And the joy.  And the independence.  And the dependence.

There is good in believing that what I'm doing is enough and is right for now and is making a difference.

 

Just take a breath.